It was a dream come true for me as I kept beaming with smile. “Of course I’ll marry you Kuti”. Trust me you can’t imagine what I was feeling, it was more than goosebumps. The butterfly in my belly kept rumbling every time I remember Kuti wants to tie the knot with me.
Kuti was Yoruba and I was Igbo, you can’t imagine what we both went through to get to this stage. It was a love story I’ll love to repeat over and over again. My mom was so skeptical about the whole relationship and she refers to Kuti’s people as “ofe mmanu” this made me laugh so much. I assured my mom that everything would be alright and she should only be concerned about my happiness.
“Kuti, can you hear me?” He kept staring blankly at me. “I said I’m pregnant” the looks on his face made my heart skip twice and left me in a confused state. “I don’t understand, kutiiii!!! say something please. Won’t you at least say a word” I yelled with tears streaming down my cheeks. “Don’t do this to me. It’s me Kambilichukwu. Kutiiiiiiii!!!” I kept screaming his name and called my full name just the way he called it the day we met. He kept walking away without saying a word and not even a goodbye.
The dream became a nightmare, days turned to weeks and weeks to month, Kuti didn’t show his face neither did he pick any of my calls. Devastation is an understatement for my state of feeling. I knew what that was, it wasn’t something like pain but pain itself, as beads of tears keeps rolling down my face again. I guess the butterfly in my belly has gone in extinct.
I thought I could do it alone, bear the whole burden. But my mom never stopped telling me “Ogadinma, kwechiri, o ga - agwu ngwa ngwa nne.” – “it is well, it will soon be over”. Until the day I went into labour, the excruciating pain from my back down to my waist, screwing down to my lower abdomen then to my thigh, I kept screaming in pain and agony, every part of my body sting more than the pain of the heart.
My mind kept swimming back to the empty promises, the beautiful but hurtful memories, the vain words. Even the day he walked away from my life abruptly, the expression on his face were even more painful than what I’m feeling right now. It was all a mirage a dazzling one at that.
I closed my eyes took a deep breathe and sunk my lips in as if that would take away all of my pains, I gave my all and made my last push, it was a beautiful baby boy. I named him Ikemefuna- I shall not loose my strength.
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